Closing the door

I have been gone from blog land for awhile due to my job situation. I work in the local school district in a Early Childhood Special Needs classroom. I have been there for seven years now and things have continued to go down hill every year. After Christmas last year my husband and I started to talk about me not going back. Our classroom has continued to be more involved every year and the administration continues to not put the kids first...they have turned our classroom into a daycare center, where we are unable to teach or keep our kids safe. Due to the frustration I started praying that God would show me where he wanted me.
Shortly after our conversation the teacher that I work with told me that she was considering posting for a new job...for all the same reasons. I felt that God was definitely affirming me in that I needed to change jobs or not return. For months after my friends job went thru I was sure that God had given me a sign that I was to not return. Then in April they came to our department and told us that they would be breaking up our Early Childhood Center and forming a new one at a new location that we either had to volunteer for or they would displace us and make decisions for us. Needless to say, things got very ugly. Was this another sign. At the end of school our department was turned upside down...people began whispering and plotting. I was told by a coworker that she intended to bump me out of my position. I totally understood, she had 20+ yrs in the district and her grandchildren who live with her attended our school. I tried to be a light in this very dark place and situation.
Even thou we knew this was going to happen back in April, our district just started processing it this week. So, I received a phone call confirming my displacement and told that I need to come down and pick a new job. So, I went, I was called in, given a list and told to pick. Ladies seriously I spend much more time picking out what shoes I'm going to wear than they were willing to give me for a new job that I would spend 8 hours at every single day. To my surprise suddenly one of the ladies from the union brings up a job that I would love. It was working in a school that I had always wanted to get into and it I would be working in the pool providing therapy to the orthopedic impaired students, I was thrilled. After my allotted time, I was told to pick..."please hurry we have alot of people." OK, I'll take it. I was very excited, I called my husband, my mother, sisters, friends....this was actually turning out great. Something very positive in a negative situation. Thank You Jesus for this new job, I knew that this position would normally not have turned up...It was my sign to stay, God had given me exactly what I wanted. Well guess what???? I received a phone call about 6 hours later???? What was it about?????We're very sorry, we made a mistake....you need to pick a new, new job. What would you like????
After three minutes of pleading and trying everything in my power to get "my" job back, I was told to pick again. I was very upset and the folks on my conference call really had no time for me and my questions. Sorry its just not available, we made a mistake...pick another. So I did. I picked a job and immediately after I hung up...it registered. Why was I not listening? I had been on my knees about my job situation since April. God was showing me but I was trying to do it my way. He had prodded and tried to show me, and I was not listening. Only after He slammed that door closed did I think about His way.
He had been telling me since Christmas and I went on searching for what I thought. After it came to me I thought God must have been looking down and thinking...how many times is it going to take...I don't want you there!
So I called HR back after 10 minutes and I explained that I had made a mistake and what I really wanted to do was to take a leave of absence. So now I get to wait and see what God has planned for me. But for now I get to marvel in the fact that my God loves me enough that He would spend His time shutting doors for His daughter....wont it be exciting to see what doors He opens next? To be continued!!!!